Hmm..

As I sit and ponder the future, I am struck with all sorts of questions. The biggest one, how do I get from A to B? I trust God to put it all into place, but feel like, I have to start somewhere don't I? And not only that, but God supplies my needs, but isn't it up to me to go after my wants instead of just waiting for them to fall out of heaven and into my lap? Ideas are still springing up for all that, but then my thoughts run to further in the future and it is extremely daunting. If I can't even get it together now, how will I ever get it together later? Uh, I just need to place that in the back of all the mess that is my mind. I feel like I need an organizer in there. Files and folders for all the thoughts running through my brain. Top 4 things?

1. We really really want a house. I can't even begin to tell you how ready we are for that and it is a necessary component to the plan God is putting in our hearts. And hello, $8000 tax credit isn't gonna last forever. It is stressful not having our own place, and in a sense, it feels like our own life. We are constantly having to play by everyone else's rules. From where we are going, what we are doing, what we feed the boys, and disciplining our kids, we are constantly having to answer to someone else about it. That is the price we pay for living with my parents. Dr. Hernandez even said if you are married adults still living with your parents, be prepared to be treated like a child still. So we put up with it. Extremely greatful for their help, but ready to not need so much help anymore. So for now, save save for that future dream. But as soon as we get a good amount in there, it all goes to a broken transmission. How lovely.

2. With everything we have been through and what we feel God putting in our hearts, the idea of going to school for supernatural ministry is big. I want to be fully trained and prepared for what God wants me to do. A school like Bethel. It would be Bethel if the cost of living, cost of school, and cost of child care wasn't so high. I found another school run by Randy Clark that I would love to go to. And for fun checked out cost of living and jobs, and the cost is great and there are jobs at UPS for Abel and an airline for me. Hmmm...But still, price of school is high and you need a big portion before classes begin. (Darn transmission) And there is still the child care issue. It's just so confusing. I know God would supply if thats what He wanted, but is it? Or is it for us to get a house and just start now? Or what???

3. Now issues. My contacts are no longer wearable, and so I go to get my prescpition filled. They try to charge me, which, hello my insurance is supposed to pay for that, so I have to call the insurance. They tell me the place already charged for them. So I call the place, and they think already have them. I proceed to tell them that no, I never got them. They order them and tell me to come back in a week. And guess what??? They aren't in. So I have to wear my glasses that too big, old, ugly, and constantly slipping off everywhere I go. Then I go get my annual exam at the gyno (blah) and get a bill in the mail today for the things my insurance didn't cover. Apparently they don't cover investigative exams...uh, isn't the papsmear necessary?? So there goes another big chunk of money. Yay. Being a grown up sucks.

4. So with all these worries and questions in our heads we start a liquid fast. I am hungry.